I think.. humans are weird.

many times.. we often feel things that we least expect to. Fall for the person we least expect to. So to prevent ourselves from getting hurt.. should we jus become a robot and stop feeling??

or rather..

i think im weird. when i reflected back on wat tanner said to me.. i actually cried. idk. tears jus starts pouring out themselves. those words pierced my heart like a dagger. and its when i started to ask myself.. who am i really?? and those moments jus came flashing back.. and it hurts even more.

i tried telling myself to stop being so silly for so many times!!but its difficult when you see something happen.. and you jus smile silly-ly at it. like a total idiot! and yes! i noe i have been one when i saw him sending me straws! i noe its really jus a small thing but to me. it matters alot. it sux. i feel silly. really silly! -_-

i dun like to be pampered. i wanna be independent. i wanna be strong. but when i talk to you. im nth but a shy and helpless silly girl... no guard against you.. nothing. omg. so useless! how silly is it that i even blush in front of my own comp and start smiling to myself. >< self control.. self control.. Musttttt forgetttttt. Yessssshhh. i mustt...!!!!!!!!

yuanyuan often asks me..."how do you stay so happy all the time...?" sometimes.. i start wondering it myself.. but i cant answer.. perhaps it because.. if i feel sad.. others will feel it too and be affected. So if i stay happy, others will then too feel the same.. so why not make them happy...???