time to get out of the house. time to have a life. time to enjoy.

the routine has been broken. distance really do make the heart grows fonder? really? do you agree? idk. i really dont.

but im tired of waiting. tired of anticipating when u're coming. when u're not on during ur regular hours, im disheartened. disappointed. and realised... i've wasted another afternoon. not accomplishing anything. but at the same time, if i dont, i know im missing the chance to see you. what was i thinking. i dont really know anymore. mixed up feelings. confused thoughts.

everytime it happens, i feel like crying. i need a shoulder. but i dont wanna break down in front of anyone. i wish.. ling was with me. i miss her so much. :(

i need to get out of the hse. watch moovee, chill out. enjoying sea breeze, gazing at the empty sky, swinging the swing at the park, taking a stroll down east coast. idc. i jus need to have a timeout.

hmm. moovees i wanna watch...

1. Time traveller's wife
2. G force
3. Aliens in the attic
4. Dance flick


3 months a long way to go... when i reflect back on what Mommy (in game) says.. she has chose to let go. was she right to do it? will it work? question marks... are filling my head.. sometimes.. i jus wish he knew... if only he was more sensitive... or maybe i need to be less sensitive. idk anymore...

Oh I had a lot to say, was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry, it makes me want to die

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know, I cant take it back.
Every single day, I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried

what lies ahead in our future..? all i can say.. im missing u. but i need to learn.. to take a step back from now on. as the endless tears i've cried.. has made me become stronger. i can rely on no one.. except myself...