yes! Im married as you can tell. 

A year yet many events has happened. As much as I dreamed to have a fairytale wedding since young.. we dont always have what we want. Sad as it is, Im still rather sour and bothered by it. However, deep down I know there will always be regrets and sadness in my heart. Even though my wedding did not turn out as a fairytale... it wasn't even pleasant. It had turned out to be a disaster, a bride's greatest nightmare. :<

Somehow the saddest part is you cant actually let it out because how you feel eventually affects the people around you. What's more the ones that you love. 

Being someone who has barely any anger or bear any grudges, it's the first time I felt so much hatred, so much worry, fear and negativity. The fear of hating someone scares me, but yet I cant help feeling as such for I know what is like being a woman, what's more knowing a woman who is famous for being petty.

Call me evil but I am also a woman, I have my pettiness. Yet at the same I feel sad because I have to be the gracious and the one that's with a 'bigger heart'. I feel mad! I feel angry! I feel so wronged! :< 

I certainly deserve a wedding to be MINE! At least a day of happiness since everything that had happened. :<

Why did she had to ruin my wedding? It was not perfect enough as it is, yet it had to be the worst wedding ever. The only positive thing was just all destroyed by her small action. Despite telling myself it could've just been a misunderstanding.. And I wanted to believe in that.

But everything seems to point in the other direction. Having clarifications made again and again with the two girls who witnessed the incident...The conclusion still draws back to the same thing.. she had the intention of doing whatever she could to indirectly 'ruin' my wedding. And that's what irks me most.

Knowing one should not hold on to the negative memory but I cant help it as wedding is a ONCE in a LIFETIME event. And it's supposed to be blissful, happy and memorable. Yet mine was not even close. It was a wedding filled with tears, hatred and negativity. Who would ever want such a wedding in life? I feel so sad and each time I think back, my heart sinks in with sorrow and sourness. I wished... I wished... it was a little more positive. At least something beautiful to be kept in my memory. But nothing like it. Instead, I wished I didn't have any memory of it... at all. Depressing isnt it.

I guess deep down, I really wish for her wedding to be ruined. To have the most awful wedding ever as she has totally ruined mine. I have no positive memory to keep at all. It's evil and one shouldnt repay evil with evil but I'm sorry. I guess Im not a saint as I thought I was afterall...

No words can ever express my sorrow and heartache for my wedding. An event that every girl dreamed for it to be perfect, happy... and memorable. 

Yet mine was the entire opposite...